so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
