Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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