dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
