sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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