So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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