so that wasnt chicken after all
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
