I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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