If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she peed on how many people?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
