I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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