So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
