As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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