I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
