They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
