He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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