Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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