Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
