it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
