Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
