i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
