I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
