Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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