I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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