their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
