The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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