whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
True strength comes from lack of pants
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
