I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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