you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
