you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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