She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
