i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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