we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
