dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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