Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
