oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I believe in your delicious
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
