Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
