marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
PANTIES FOUND
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