I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
