oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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