I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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