Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you will always have a special place in my vag
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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