Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
