then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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