I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
