dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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