Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
