you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
