i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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