She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
