Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
