I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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