I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
